June 1, 2025: "Moving at the Speed of Trust"

Rev. Susan Frederick-Gray

Why is trust such an important thing and what does it mean to move at the speed of trust? How can we make sure we are nurturing trust as we move forward in our relationships, in our congregation and in our work for justice in the world?

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Sermon Text

Moving at the Speed of Trust

Rev. Susan Frederick-Gray

UU Church of Bloomington

June 1, 2025

SERMON Moving at the Speed of Trust

There is a phrase often used in organizations and organizing spaces – “moving at the speed of trust.” Leadership consultant Stephen Covey popularized in within organizational development with his book Speed of Trust. Writer, activist and facilitator adrienne maree brown popularized it within justice organizing spaces in her book Emergent Strategy.

The foundation of the concept is that within any organization, relationship or community, the pace at which you can move or change internally, or work to make change externally, is connected to how much trust you have. In other words, trust is a foundation you need in order to do things together – and especially if you are hoping to effect change. And if you try to make changes – or even move too fast in decision making – before there is trust, things can easily fall apart or blow up.

This is why I had just one overarching goal for this first year of ministry – the goal to build trust. Trust is the foundation – the first plank – of any strong relationship. And trust matters – because when we are part of a relationship that has trust at it’s foundation, it helps us grow and change and dream and do important things together.

“Moving at the speed of trust” means if we want to go far or go fast, if we are in it for the long haul – we need to build trust first.

Trust is such an important bedrock of any shared ministry that when congregations and ministers are in the search process, they are each asked how they build trust. I thought it might be fun to go back and read what your fabulous Search Committee wrote about trust, and what I wrote about it way back in late 2023 when we were both putting together our search materials.

Here is some of what the Search committee wrote about building trust:

“Trust is built between the congregation and the minister in many ways, including: sermons … that both communicate the minister’s understanding of and care for the congregation, and shares their own personal experience; cooperating to do the work of the church; pastoral and other one-on-one connections; kind and generous actions of congregants and minister toward one another; owning mistakes; weathering hard things together; clear communication and listening; laughter.”

To the question asked of ministers ‘How do you build trust with individuals and a congregation?’, I shared a few practices that are important for building trust: (I am abbreviating, because well… you know, ministers often have a lot to say.)

One, the ability to be present, to really listen and work to understand individuals and a community. Being seen, heard and understood is key to building trust.

Two, practicing honesty, integrity and consistency. I said in my answer: “I work hard not to over promise, to keep my word, to be straightforward, and to show up consistently and faithfully to a community and its people.” (I hope you have found this to be true.)

And three is remembering that trust is a two-way street. One key to building trust is being able to trust others and lead from a place of trust.

There are some good insights here on how to build trust. Let’s dig into it a bit more.

One of the first ingredients to building trust is taking the time to listen and get to know one another. To bring curiosity and real care to a relationship so that we might be seen and understood. This happens through the sharing of stories and experiences, it also happens by working together on shared projects – finding connections, sharing laughter, and sharing heartbreak, sharing experiences.

Throughout this year, we have had many chances to do this in small ways and big. And we actually deepen trust by continuing to listen and learn, not making assumptions, but continuing to share who we are and being curious about each other – for all of us are always changing and growing too.

Another big part of building trust is by navigating challenges and making mistakes. Trust is not rooted in perfection. We all make mistakes, and we can all end up hurting someone inadvertently. The surprising thing about trust is that often it grows deeper after we have made mistakes, hurt each other or weathered conflict or challenge. Because how we navigate these experiences – if we can be willing to listen, to understand how trust has been broken, if we can take responsibility and learn from our mistakes – we can actually build a more lasting foundation of trust that invites even more possibility within the relationship or community.

This connects with story that Stephanie shared about the importance of speaking up. Speaking up takes courage, it makes you vulnerable – but it also is a pathway to building stronger relationships of care, justice and compassion.

Within anti-racism/anti-oppression training, one important lesson (and it is applicable far more broadly) is that when someone speaks up, when someone gives you feedback about something that you did that hurt them, it is a sign that they have some trust in you – some respect for you. This feedback is a gift, because it shows an investment in you and in wanting to improve the relationship. For, if a person didn’t trust that you would receive it or do anything with it, they wouldn’t even bother to share it.

But – a challenge for many people: We are taught to keep the peace, not rock the boat; mid-western values. Sharing feedback is an invitation to deeper relationship and trust. And how we respond – through listening and seeking better understanding, instead of anger or defensiveness, is what helps build trust and stronger relationships.

There is one other aspect of trust that both the search committee and I named, in different ways. This is the fact that trust is a two-way street. We all know what it is like to have our trust broken. Both the search committee and I named ways that this happened, but we also shared the foundation of trust that we still held. This is important because one of the best ways to build trust is to offer trust. Is this surprising?

For some people, for some communities, trusting comes naturally. They start from the assumption that they can trust people. For others, this is never an assumption. And with good reason. Our life stories, our experiences shape how easily, or not, we trust.

We all find ourselves on a different scale in terms of how easily we trust. Being too trusting can lead to being hurt easily or often, and it can remind us we need to have

more boundaries to protect ourselves. And being very wary of trusting others can diminish our ability to nurture strong relationships where we feel we can really be our full and authentic selves. Knowing where we are on the scale can help us remember that sometimes the work we need to do to experience greater trust in our relationships is internal work.

This matters, because there are tremendous gifts that come to us within relationships of deep trust – both within personal relationships and in community. Having relationships of trust gives us strength. It reminds us that we are not alone, and this helps us take risks for what we love and what matters to us. It can help us embrace more fully and proudly who we are. And relationships built on trust help us navigate better the challenges and losses that come in any life. They also give us courage to make needed changes within ourselves, and courage to organize together for the changes we need in our world.

This is why I made building trust my main goal for this year. Because, while none of us had a crystal ball to see the challenges that would come, I knew that trust would be the foundation from which we could nurture a ministry of courage and compassion, a ministry that would help all of us – minister and congregation – individuals and families grow spiritually and faithfully, and respond in broader circles of care and justice in our community and state.

As we reflect back on this first year of ministry, and I remember what the search committee wrote about building trust, we have many examples of where we have found ways to cooperate in the work of the church, to share personal experiences, to share one on one connections and pastoral moments, and to weather hard times (and keep weathering), and to listen, laugh, make mistakes, and show our care for each other. We are doing the work of building trust and creating a foundation of trust from which years of ministry can grow.

We are doing the work of building trust. And we will continue this work. For trust is never a one and done thing. In strong growing relationships, we are continually building trust, by practicing listening, by showing up, by sharing ourselves. We are continually building trust as we move through challenges and changes, and rebuilding it when it is broken, learning through mistakes and disappointment. Continually building trust so that it may be an ongoing source of strength, courage, growth, wisdom, love and care for all of us – for all the years ahead. So much we don’t know, but with trust we can move through it proudly, courageously, compassionately.

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